Hotel stuff

Hello Russell,

My friend forwarded your email to me because she is stuck at a hotel bathroom.

Here is the message you sent, incase you want to read it again...

I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about my trip, because it was impromptu. i had to be in Manila  Philippines for a program. The program was successful, but my journey has turned sour. i misplaced my wallet and cell phone on my way back to the hotel i lodge in after i went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables i had. Now, my passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when i make payment.

I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. i will be indeed very grateful if i can get a loan of $2,239, from you. this will enable me sort my hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as I return. let me know if you can be of any assistance. Please, let me know soonest. Thanks so much..

Russell (Bittner)

Have you checked your other pants pocket?  Sometimes I switch pockets when I'm traveling.  It throws off potential thieves and when i get really drunk, I can't find my wallet and think it got stolen and I go back to my hotel and cry and write drunken emails to strangers asking them for money.

I have one of those iPhone things and they have a cool app so that you can find it if you leave it somewhere.  Have you tried calling yours?  Has anyone answered it?

Your request for $2,239 seems pretty specific.  Can you itemize that for me?  I like to know where all my money is going.  Also, where are you staying?  I'm guessing they have some computers, so it's not a complete dump.  Is it a Sandals Resort?  Those are great from what I've heard.  You can drink watered down cocktails all day and never have to tip.  A friend of mine got married at one of those places.  He drank through the whole thing and never threw up.  I'm guessing you are pretty drunk right now based on the gramatical issues in your email.

Hey good luck getting out of that hotel and getting your passport back.

And if you're not really Russell, you might want to change your email password.  You might also want to upgrade to something other than AOL.  Seriously.

Lunch time for me!  Gonna go get a burrito!

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Sorry, guy. As you correctly surmised, my account got hacked. But I've worked it out with AOL and changed my password.

This shit happens. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Russell